Monday, June 18, 2018

Managing Conflict

Have you ever been in a restaurant where the couple is just sitting there not talking. . and it isn't a question why they came to a place with a bunch of T.V.'s to watch? I actually did just a couple of weeks ago. . . My husband and I love to go to Buffalo Wild Wings! There is a lot going on in there but we find time to talk and wink at each other and share the ranch ;) I mean and my husband double dips. . . I could definitely be upset about it but I choose to let it go.
In our relationships sometimes we have perpetual problems.  Perpetual problems are underlying assumptions and issues which cannot be grounded and fixed situationally. I bet you that the couple sitting next to us had some perpetual problems that they just couldn't get over. Which is super sad!
There are some happy couples though that haven't fixed their major problems. They married someone who they could forgive super easy, and someone who they could live with.  Since the perpetual issues are perpetual by definition, one must chose a partner whose differences you can live and cope with like strategies and routines to deal with unbridgeable differences. Otherwise, the perpetual problems become hard trials. Instead of forgiving for them for the things they do that bug them, they end up turning against their spouse. 
There is this great talk that we listened to this week in our studies that I really loved and want to share with you. This really puts into perspective that getting rid of those hard feelings can really help us become happier and turn towards our spouse.
Lets choose to forgive our spouse for double dipping ;)

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