Changes Require Changes (Babies)

-lots of conversation and experimentation
-accommodate and identify our needs with each other
-discover the new things
-sharing your time with each other
-sharing EVERYTHING with each other

    These are all things That I am learning how to do right now. Getting married, enjoying the honeymoon, and being in love are only the beginning stages of a great marriage. There are things that will come along during your marriage that can bring you two closer together then ever. . . or really just take you two away from one another. Jedd and I had an awesome summer together while we merged our lives together living in Woodruff, Utah. We learned more about each other on a deeper level. I learned a lot about who Jedd is and what he likes and doesn't like. I learned that work might almost me his most favorite thing, and that there can't be too many otter pops in the freezer. These are some fun things to know, and because I know them I can best fulfill Jedd's needs. The list of things I know about my husband will increase over time if I really put in some effort and observe and communicate with him.
    We will, together, go through some hard times difficult times and some changes. The more you know about one another, and the more you communicate through these things. . . (I think) the easier it will be to go through them.

    The fun thing about changes though is that it creates an opportunity for you to learn something new. Maybe how they'll react, or feel when something occurs. One of the big changes, greatest changes, most life changing changes. . . is when you start to create together your own family. A lot of things go into this special experience, and maybe more new things that you haven't been through yet. I was able to learn this week about the effects of having children.

    The effects were kind of surprising to me. I learned that most marriage satisfaction levels go down the their first baby arrives. Not only that, but it keeps going down as more children come. Jedd and I haven't had children yet but I am going to keep some things in mind when I start having children. Who intentionally has children to decline their satisfaction with the person they love and created the child with?

    The things I want to share and also remember when I have children is to always include the father in pre-natal and post-natal appointments and experiences. Doing this keeps both parents on the same page and with the name knowledge of this child. Revealing the gender together, hearing the heart beat, hearing the words of the doctor reveal news about your child. . . are all important for both parents to hear. Even though mom is bearing the child, including dad when the baby starts kicking, or wanting him there for the appointments will give him the feelings that he is needed, and also wanted by your side throughout this changing time in your relationship. 

   When the baby is born, keeping your husband feeling needed and wanted is important so he can feel a connection with the baby as well. It might be a good idea, in my opinion, to keep your husband right next to you in the delivery room. . . not so much your mom. . . or your best friend. . . but your husband holding your hand and being given the baby right after it is born. What a spiritual and special experience it would be for you and your husband being together during this time.  

    The other things I think are important are keeping up on your duties of being a wife. Not only are you a mother now. . . but you aren't just one thing now! Continue being a wife to your husband. He deserves it. I know Jedd deserves that! It might be hard sometimes but pushing forward through those hard times, doing the things I have in the list up there^ will be so beneficial in your marriage.

I want the children I have to bring Jedd and I closer together. I want to always make him feel needed and wanted and important in the process of having children. I know there are changes ahead of us, but this class is helping me know and prepare for what I need to do to not have my marriage decline after having children. I am excited to start my family, actually I can't wait.