After you get married, the ongoing questioned asked is, "When are you going to have kids?"
I always laugh a little, shrug and say "Maybe when I am done with college. ."
(In my head after they leave)
Is this a bad response?
Should I feel guilty for not bringing children in the world yet, when other parents are trying desperately to?
How do I know if I am ready?
Is that Heavenly Fathers way of telling me I have my family waiting for me?
In my other classes I have found myself reading and studying the family as well. I am taking parenting skills, the eternal family, and family relations. All are intertwining and those same questions have come back to me as I read the same quotes:
“Young mothers and fathers, with all my heart I counsel you
not to postpone having your children. Do not use the reasoning of the world,
such as, ‘We’ll wait until we can better afford having children, until we are
more secure, until (Jedd) has completed his education, until he has a better
paying job, until we have a larger home, until we’ve obtained a few of the 13
material conveniences,’ and on and on.”
"You came knowing full well your responsibilities. You came
to get for yourself a mortal body which could become perfected and
immortalized, and you understood that you were to act in partnership with God
in providing bodies for other spirits equally anxious to come to the earth for
righteous purposes. And so you will not postpone parenthood. There will be
rationalists who will name to you numerous reasons for postponement. Of course,
it will be harder to get your college degrees or your financial starts with a
family, but strength like yours will be undaunted in the face of difficult
obstacles. Have your family as the Lord intended. Of course it is expensive,
but you will find a way, and besides, it is often those children who grow up
with responsibility and hardships who carry on the world and its work. In a
properly charted Latter-day Saint marriage, one must be conscious of the need
to forget self and love one’s companion more than self. There will not be
postponement of parenthood, but a desire for children as the Lord intended, and
without limiting the family as the world does. The children will be wanted and
loved.45 Young married couples who postpone parenthood until their degrees are
attained might be shocked if their expressed preference were labeled idolatry.”
How bold was that for me to read from a 19 year old perspective, who has only been married 2.5 months, and who already feels guilty from answering the question the way that I did. I have contemplated and have done a little reading regarding how many young couples actually think about having children of their own.
Mr Ehrlich published a book called, Population Bomb 1968. This book created fear in many as it stated that the earth would soon have too many people on it and that we would exceed the resources. He compared having more children to robbing a bank. This implies that children take our resources and it is selfish to have children. These statements and researches made really affected peoples thoughts on having children because people really respected what he had to say. Many couples didn't want to have many children or children at all after reading this.
Mr Ehrlich published a book called, Population Bomb 1968. This book created fear in many as it stated that the earth would soon have too many people on it and that we would exceed the resources. He compared having more children to robbing a bank. This implies that children take our resources and it is selfish to have children. These statements and researches made really affected peoples thoughts on having children because people really respected what he had to say. Many couples didn't want to have many children or children at all after reading this.
There are also a lot more family trends today that simply put back or don't find importance in having children. Your career, situation, popularity, free time, marriage could all be in danger if you have children? Oh my goodness, it could only make all of those better. It is taught in the Latter Day Saint religion the importance of having a family and creating a home or worship, order, prayer, and of teaching so your children can grow up in a learning and safe environment. Family is so central to this life. I grew up in a family of 8 and felt bad for my 'only child' friends. I couldn't imagine growing up with my own room, or playing games by myself, or not having a sister to come home to with boy problems or even a brother to fight them off. I find it interesting and have thought of a scenario that if the LDS population steadily creates large families, then there would be a greater population of LDS on the earth because we are the ones who are procreating.
Anyways, while finding these studies I find myself thinking that I am wandering on the path of social media, or trends with family of the world. I also know that prayer is a good way to know when your time is right to have children. It is our duty and our sacred responsibility to procreate, but we are not to wait until we 'feel ready' because in all reality. . . when will we truly be ready? We could always be more financially stable, have a bigger house or a better family car. I know that having children is a wonderful blessing and I can't wait until it is my time to bring precious spirits into this world. Whether it be when I am in school, or during my last couple semesters.
Anyways, while finding these studies I find myself thinking that I am wandering on the path of social media, or trends with family of the world. I also know that prayer is a good way to know when your time is right to have children. It is our duty and our sacred responsibility to procreate, but we are not to wait until we 'feel ready' because in all reality. . . when will we truly be ready? We could always be more financially stable, have a bigger house or a better family car. I know that having children is a wonderful blessing and I can't wait until it is my time to bring precious spirits into this world. Whether it be when I am in school, or during my last couple semesters.
P.S. I want at least 6 mini Jedd's of my own calling me momma. . . I mean how cute?
First Quote:
https://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-of-presidents-of-the-church-ezra-taft-benson/chapter-15-the-sacred-callings-of-fathers-and-mothers?lang=eng
Second Quote:
https://www.lds.org/new-era/1975/06/john-and-mary-beginning-life-together?lang=eng
Ehrlich's Book:
https://staff.washington.edu/jhannah/geog270aut07/readings/population/Ehrlich%20-%20Population%20Bomb%20Ch1.pdf
